Foundation made of piss and vinegar . . . . . .
Sunday, September 30, 2001
  hee-yo! uhm, im bored, im downloading a pirated copy of th- oh i have said too much .... eh heh heh ::shifty eyes:: well, lets just say my computer isn't being that fast, and it's taken about 4 hours, and it's almost done n_n 
  i just downloaded an episode of di gi charat, it's not subtitled so im like "..." the episode is called "sakura sakura" well at least that's what i think it's called, but it's so cute n_n pyoko is so jokes 
  herm herm herm HAAAAAAAAAARM 
  ARGH!!!1!!!11111 (yes with ones) someone outside is burningsomething and it's like "GARGH!!" and im like BUUHHHH
 
  ::reads some of them refferals o'hers:: lol, but man, people really want lyrics to a certain song which i HATE now, but the original micheal jackson version still has it's charm XD i donno, im actually gonna scan some pictures, but not yet, im gonna finish some pictures, and i can be like HAR HAR HAR and you'll melt away, HAHRHAHR 
  i just watched three hours of CROCODILE HUNTER!!! yeah, i love steve, even more so now, cuz one of them was like the STEVE STORY and stave was just talking about things he did and stuff, and he was saying how he got his dog (chili-dog) and stuff, and then he said when he and chilidog were rounding up these wild hogs with these idiots with rifles, this one idiot got scared and fired at the hog that the dog was on, and killed his dog, he was crying while he said this and i was like "Oooooo poor steeeeeve" cuz i know what its like when your dog is killed (one of my dogs was poisoned, one hung itself over the fence, and another got skin cancer so they put her down) and i was like NOOOOOOO and then they showed footage of steve when he buried chilidog, and he had his cam-corder and he was crying as he said goodbye, and i was like "::sniff::" i didn't actually cry though, but i felt so bad for him... cuz i like animals WAY more than i like people, cuz animals are all like "..." and people are all like "KGNMSDKNMGSDJKNLKJGD MNSKSN \M lkndslkg KSFDHG LKJ JHLGKJSLKFDJ G!!!!!!" ...yeah,

i had mcdoogles for breakfast and i was like unuhuhuhuhuhu and my stupid aunt just came by and she just walked in the house without even knocking, and ivory went nutzoid and started barking and growling at her, and my dad was like "don't go near the dog blablha she's been acting really weird latley" well she has, but only to james really, and so now my aunt can't just come waltzing into our house XD steve's daughter's name is Bindi-Sue... lol, she's named after a croc and a dog XD

zuh, now what to do? ::runs in circles:: 
  ::bored:: the fucking sun is pissing me off, i cant wait till halloween, i love halloween, i used to think it was stupid, but i love scaring the little kids, its so FUN, it's like HERM HERM HERM fun, you know?  
  my eyes THEY HUURT NYAYAHYKCAKJAKamskmk! and some guy on tv is all like BRAHBRAHBRAH! and im like nooooooooooooooooo cuz he won't just up- uhm, SHUT up i mean, see when i type things just don't wanna make senseand im like screaming at the keyboard and syaing it should learn to type, har har, i wonder where ivory is ::ponders:: i wanna scan some funny pictures of me and my sister when we were little, cuz yesterday me and lisa were looking all through all these pictures and i found some really funny ones of us, and theres this one where my mouth is like a messed up triangle lol
yuk, n sync is on tv, and they are singing all GAY like, and im like NOOOOOOOO, cuz i can't reach my tv from here, >< zuh i have a stomach ache... stilll, im gonna go eat me something.... 
  brrrrrhhhehhhh im cold, i so can't sleep through a whole bloody night, im so tired ¯_¯  
Saturday, September 29, 2001
  man, im bored, my brother has all these HAB-ish mp3s .. WHICH REMINDS ME! cuz me and lisa were downstairs in his apartment all day we put this picture of AJ from the backstreet boys in his room on his wall XD and his girl friend will see it and be like "?!" and then i'll laugh, and laugh 
  ive calmed down now, but i feel so... so... i donno, i feel so not right, like something bad is going to happen or something >< and my sister and mom are driving up north...-_- i still have a headache, but i don't bloody care, im listening to loud music, lisa slept over last night, i slept on the couch downstairs, i so couldn't sleep, even though when we were sitting there watching voyager i fell asleep sitting up, and b and lisa didn;t even notice, i had the weather network on all night, i mustve woken up like 20 times, everytime i'd wake up, it'd be like an hour later, and now im so soo tired, but i don't want to sleep, i wanna puke so i'll damn well feel better.. 
  ::singing:: you are WRONG FUCKED AND OVER RATED, I THINK IM GONNA BE SICK AND IT'S YOUR FAULT THIS IS THE END OF EVERYTHING, YOU ARE THE END OF EVERTHING!! ::/singing::

dammit yeah  
  don't you HATE it when people say they'll never leave again, and then they do, because you did something you didn't even mean or know you did? i do that's for sure...  
  FUCKING HELL! I JUST WROTE THIS REALLY LONG FUCKING FUCKED POST AND FUCKING FUCKER OF NETSCAPE FUCKING DELETED IT!!! FUCK! IM SO MAD, AND THERE IS A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES OUTSIDE THAT ARE SINGING! AND IM MAD, IM SO MAD, I WANT TO RIP OUT SOMEONE'S JUGULAR AND BATH IN THEIR BLOOD!!!  
  Grrr, im HAVING to USE NETSCAPE ::boos:: i _HATE_ it, but IE won't BLOODY work! ::is mad:: im _23_ YEARS OLD I DON'T NEED THIS CRAP! ::kicks the computer:: i feel like KILLING someone, and im SICK of YOU cuz i HATE you! im sick of LIVING in my ROOM! im SICK OF YOU! AND YOU AND YOUR MIMICKING OF ME I HAAAATTTEE YOOOOU! ALOT!

i doono, im dizzy, hot, and im gonna puke, so i have to complain, cuz nothing else is going on in my life, im such a boring person, and i hate you and all your friends, and i donno, im just mad, and im sick of the FUCKING kids outside who won't shut their FUCKING FUCKER MOUTHS and i just want them to shut the FUCK up so i can suffer in peace, but no they have to be loud and scream and cry cuz there mother is too busy being a drunk whore, to care about her 7 kids, and how they just scream for food and run amuck that's why i hate you, cuz you just scream at me, but im deaf, i don't hear your screaming its like you just open your mouth at me for long periods of time, and i sit there looking daft, cuz i am daft, very daft, and im stupid too, so shut up 
  im in a bad mood, im angry with my mom, _IM_ the one who always goes up to my grand mothers but usually i only go because no one else really wants to, and of COURSE i REALLY wanted to go (cuz my cousin is sick, like ive been to the hosiptal three times this week sick) and my mom says i CANT CUZ THERE ISN'T ENOUGH SLEEPING ROOM! god dammut, cuz my SISTER is going, now i get to sit here doing nothing, jeez i dont talk to ANYONE on msn or by e-mail anymore, so i'll just be lurking around things, not speaking, AS usual while people fucking ignore me, and this is one of the manys reasons why i hate people! ::cusses:: 
Friday, September 28, 2001
  MOKONA IS SITTING ON MY SHOULDER AND SHE;S NOT TRYING TO KILL ME!!! 0_o 
  feh, my brother is taking the car, so i guess im not going... my mom has officially gotten her new jaguar! it's like a darkish red-ish colour, and it's really REALLY nice and it's all like "mm mm"  
  i'm bored, i need to do something, but im too gay too 
  wow, my joints really hurt... fehfehfeh, roak, im bored, i just sat in the car for three hours, and im going out again in halfan hour to drop james off at the prison with my dad, and that'll take about an hour and a half to two hours, im hungry, but feh i don't care, it's like when i eat, i feel sick, when i don't eat i feel sick, when i just sit there i feel sick GOD DAMMIT!! 
  i is so boreded, i is i is! ::has a full pack of dentyne "cinnamint" gum in her mouth:: lol... i can't wait for halloween, i'll prolly just wander around with my sister and not get candy, but i might get candy, im gonna dress in my lei lei costume, cuz it's REALLY REALLY warm, and i'll be like struting around like a fruit...yeah t'will be all in good fun.... i wish these speakers had a place to put my ear phones into, if it did i could blast my head in loud explosions of music...and you know what else i wish? i wish MY BLOODY RESIDENT EVIL 3 DISK WORKED ::thrashes about:: dammut, DAMMUT! now i gotta get my mom to call that guy who makes thems disks for us and get him to make me a new copy of it, and then i can be like "HHHH" and i can HUGGLE onto it, and love and kiss it, and i can talk to it, and sing to it, and i'll be so happy (lol)  
  im bored, im chewing gum, and im like MAHUAHHAUAH And my dog is laying on my bed like she owns the joint, and i screamed about the fork that was kicking her arse, and i laughed the end. 
  mmmm i have a push pop (lol) it's multi-coloured, FEEL THE WRATH!!! im bored, gruh, my blog comes up when people search for smooth criminal cover by A A F and it's bothersome, since i now HATE their version, i REALLY hate it now, damn right ...im gonna be HOME SCHOOLING soon...yeah, i have inova(the new lovebird) on my head 
  ::sigh:: finally my tracker is working 
  ::singing "THERE'S NO EXCEPTION TO THE RULES":: lol, lisa i'll put a picture of him on my blog for... first i gotta draw one... but yeah, then you can put him on your blog, and you can ...have him on your blog? did you figure out who those people at the end were? (lol) i just stretched the pictures in mspaint (lol)

i drew this one picture on the computer on this oekaki of that angel dood with no name, and he's such a sexy BITCH (lol) here let me upload it... la lalalala ::waiting:: my internet is being so slow
lookit my sexy bitch, he looks so..giirrrllllyyyy (i sooo can't draw guys)
i think i have arthritist in my one finger (the one i hurt when i went over the handle bars when i was in grade eight) bone never went back to the right spot, so now it feels like it's rubbing on another bone, or something, and arthritist is in my family (my aunt tammy has it so bad she can't use her hands to do everyday things, like the dishes) ::cry:: my bones they hurt, everything damn well hurts.... ruhm, well im gonna go back to sleep, there's nothing in the wake world for me right now (there hardly is anymore) 
Thursday, September 27, 2001
  i feel like someone is drilling at my insides, and it hurts, it hurts so damn much, it hurts enough to bring me to tears, and no one listens, why don't they listen? 
  i'm so fucking angry right now, im so sick and no one seems to fucking CARE AND IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!! GRRR!! ive never felt this sick before, and ive been REALLY sick, i could just scream and cry but i won't cuz they're idiots! im thinking about putting the chair under the door handle then going to sleep so they cant get in, yeah then they'd get it, then assholes i hate them, i hate the fact that they don't care that i could kill myself, i hate the fact that they don't care about all the subliminal messages, i hate the fact that im not who they want me to be, they want me to be a nice, happy girl, who is so dense that she doesn't know how much shit this entire family is, they want me to be someone im not, and i can't be like that, but they don't get it, they don't get who i am, there is like no one on this shitty planet who gets who i am, and why i am this way, i just wish i was fucking dead... today i told my sister If i die, tell everyone at the forum and everyone i talk to alot on msn and stuff that i died... well im going to sleep, i tend to sleep alot when im depressed, but only during the day... i donno, i guess cuz at night if someone comes in my room they can't see my tears. 
  GRR I FUCKING HATE MY DAD! He's SUCH AN ASSHOLE!! _HE_ has the NERVE to tell _ME_ that _IM_ gonna know FUCK all CUZ I DON'T GOTO SCHOOL! HAHA! YEAH HE HAS TO ASK ME HOW TO SPELL THINGS, OR WHAT CERTAIN WORDS ARE!! DAMMIT! all HE knows about it CARS, and DRUGS, that fucking asshole! my books and shit came today so i WILL be learning something, god fucking dammit, _HE_ dropped OUT when HE was in grade nine, so he should just shut the fuck up!  
  this happened just a few secs ago on msn with my sister (im the thing with the danger door)
Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.
---------------------------------
FEAR THE B says:
POOP i gotta whiz
THE DANGER DOOR!!! ...cuz there was the POG-smelling like thing ..only cape thong and brown! says:
ok
THE DANGER DOOR!!! ...cuz there was the POG-smelling like thing ..only cape thong and brown! says:
OO-WATER SUCKS IT REALLY REALLY SUCKS
FEAR THE B says:
LOL
FEAR THE B says:
HOOWATER SUCKS IT REALLY REALLY SUCKS
FEAR THE B says:
no its sexs
THE DANGER DOOR!!! ...cuz there was the POG-smelling like thing ..only cape thong and brown! says:
lol
FEAR THE B says:
H
FEAR THE B says:
SUXS
THE DANGER DOOR!!! ...cuz there was the POG-smelling like thing ..only cape thong and brown! says:
KIK
FEAR THE B says:
lol
FEAR THE B says:
LOL
THE DANGER DOOR!!! ...cuz there was the POG-smelling like thing ..only cape thong and brown! says:
hahahaha



NYUK NYUK 
  you know what sound i love? i love the sound of my door shutting andslashor slamming, its like "CLUNK CLICK" cuz it makes this clunking sound and then it makes this CLICKing sound (lol) what a thing to talk about... i don't really have anything i want to share right now, but ivory was chewing at the bottom of my pants after i screamed and stole my foot away from her and i backhanded her and now i feel bad cuz she got up and was all sucking up to me cuz she knew i was mad and i was like AWWW and then i hugged her, cuz ivory is like my bestest friend... well she's my bestest animal friend.. cuz she's always like I LOVE YOU AND I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH OF AN ANNOYING FAT IDIOT YOU ARE well that's what it's like, she's just glad cuz im the only one who pays attention to her all day when everyone is sleeping/at school/at work im awake and i keep her amused, me and b are teaching her the term "Up and Over" to jump things, she's a hella good jumper considering how tall she is, but i have her dog hair up my nose, lol, good ol' ivory... today everyone has been ignoring me, im really sick, but my moms just like OH I GOTTA GOTO WORK and my sister's like Shuttup already, you and the bird are giving me a headache and my dad's like SHHHHHH ::goes back to watching two shows on tv, one about the selena(sp?) mustang and some CLASSIC boxing:: ruhgg, people hate me ::is an outcast:: im going to become one of those crazy animal people that live alone in the middle of no where with only pets as their friends and i'll go nuts and i'll drive into town with a bunch of my pets and i'll throw them at people going like "NAIUHUIFHASUFSJKAJHJKHBAKJA AHAHYWHYAHUAHUHA YOUOOOOOUU ABNHBA!" i donno, i have my computer speakers really loud and i am listening to living dead girl, im rambling, i guess my blog doesn't mind me babbling about things... i think i have food poisoning 
  BEH! im blogging from my sister's computer, i just remembered my dream from last night, it's really demented

okay it started out me and britt and lisa and chris we were walking and we went in this stupid corner store and we for some reason lived in this room, but this room actually doesn't exsist in real life, but yeah it was like this club house like room and there was this balarena(sp?) statue thing,and we were listening to contagious by the isley brothers (cuz my brother was listening to it in my room while being on my computer) and there was like army rations and they were just this blue powder, and lisa was eating the blue powder and she asked me if she should put water in it, and i was like "yeah i guess" and then we were walking and we were gonna go on this train somewhere and britt was the person who was carrying all our stuff and so then she got on the train but the rest of us didn't so she went off on the train and chris went off to this bridge where you could feed the gold fish in the water, and so lisa and i were following the train cuz we had to get britt and our stuffs and we were walking thru all these tunnels and stuff and we couldn't get to britt, and so there was this really big /\ thing in the railroad tracks lisa didn't want to walk up it so she went around it, but i went up it, but the thing is it was just like /\ and it was really stupid, anyways so we walked somemore and we were in this station and there was this crane thing, and we were on it for some reason and then this old guy with a mustache asked us what we were doing in here (and i donno know how but chris was now with us again) and so yeah we walked to this place, i don't really remember what went on but i remember we finally got to britt, and she was sitting on one of the empty |________| trailer things eating the rations.. then i woke up and my brother was still on my computer.... i think i might have food poisoning or something, i still feel like if i hicup or burp im gonna puke my guts out (and i feel like im really really hungry even though i know im not)


well im listening to the opening of star trek the next generation, and stuff over and over my arms and wrists hurt alot, so im gonna stop typing and gonna eat something, even though im notreally hungreh 
  dammut, im turning off this fucking computer, my brother downloaded all this shitty music last night and now it's running like hell and im pissed the hell off, my stupid dad has the heat on like an ass and it's so bloody hot in here, and i just took 6 bloody asprins cuz my head hurts so fucking bad, and there is this stupid bird outside my window and it won't shut its stupid face, and i want to go out there and scream and yell untill it flies the hell away from me 
  grrr, the bloody sun shure knows how to piss me off, ::grumbles:: dammit i wish my window faced a different directions... im just gonna get some cardboard and cover up my window, then i can put some holes in it and the sun will come thru thems holes and i'll be like XD 
  did i mention i want the fast balls america?! 
  cuz i want the FAAAASSSTTT BAALLLLSSS AMMMERRRIIICCCAAAA!!!!! XD THE FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTT BBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSS XDXDXDXD i'll be okay, no REALLY I WILL, im gonna go see if i can download a trial version of corel, then i can colour this picture, and i can be like YES and then i can FINALLY have a GOOD coloured picture for the TITILE IMAGE and i have SUCH a GOOD idea for this blog and it's layout of explosions! 
  XD IM WATCHING RUPERT!! AHAHAHAHHAHAA guh i HATE this show, and the SAD thing is.. IVE SEEN THIS EPISODE TWICE (now i've seen it thrice! AUGH!) 
  im bored and very depressed, someone took my scissors away... im just going to bury myself in my dreams so i don't have to think about reality 
Wednesday, September 26, 2001
  shitty dick, my arm floated away when humping the door with dump in toilet and there was these gay beetles and i stomped on it, and it died and burned and was dead in a fury of bleeding and pisskiss cuz i have a desease called piss on the knee aka water on the knee but it's not a desease but its probably not even water on the knee it's probably just a peice of calcium floating around and it makes a squishy sound and it hurts like some one rammed burning hot magma into my eye and then zechs came and he was struting his stuff, and i clapped and put dollar bills in his pants (Even though in canada there isn't dollar bills) and he was like "OH YOU HIHIHIHIHI!" but he actually meant oh you hee hee hee hee! but then i asked him if he came WITH the car but there was NO car im watching a british comedy, a one i never seen before, and then i was like MAN I WISH THEY BROUGHT BACK THE YOUNG ONES AND BOTTOM! but they didn't but they should cuz those were some good british shows that i actually liked, cuz in the young ones NEIL wasthere and he was like this sad man, and i was like NYUK NYUK and so then my road kill ate a rotten orange, like the one that used to sit on my scanner, but but BUT i scanned it, and i think my mom threw it out, and it was all brown and darkish orange and stuff and the bus smashed into anthrax max, with THE ANTHRAX or is it ANTHARAX?! i think it's anthrax, not the band, but like the bacteria(sp) thing that makes you die, and makes your head explode in a fury of blood and guts and action! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah road is big on rain with kilt in eye with a virgin chicken leg in mouth with lots of nose debris on the legs with the sword in toad and the father got hit by car with wolf tail on kleenex but i melted down a sewer with the guy who sings opera with lots of sing ing and gingins cuz my dog is forking the man in the groin with eighty four dollars in nine eight nine with the nail clippers and the guy from that movie, you know, the movie where the guy was mangling the yogurt then the zebra licked it up and piss came out it's eye and then the world imploded and we all died the end


yeah that was cool, cuz eggs are old and block with black and green mold and cookie in chocolate with pop can 
  ::cry:: 
  you know that feeling you have when youre just about to puke your guts out, and you can feel it up in your throat? well that's how i feel right now, and before, and before that! i wish icould draw better, but im such a shitty drawer ::cry:: last night i drew a bunch of pictures and im looking at them and thinking "I SUCK, YES I SUCK, I REALLY REALLY SUCK YEAH, I SUCK, I SUCK, I REALLY, REALLY SUCK!" 
  roadkill 
  i cut this pop can so now it looks like one of those lion fish or whatever, ya know the ones with all the black and white thingys and they are like cha-ing away from me, cuz i gotta get away from me, gotta get away from meeee guh my dad turned on the heat and it hasn't been run in like a bunch of months and now it's all smelly in the house and it's hot but cold at the same time, i really feel like im gonna puke... 
  dammit, my damn internet is SO DAMN ANNOYING! it;s like it was being all fast amd then 8:30am came upon me and i was like NOOOO IM MEEELLLTTTIIINNNNGGG and i melted like Bill Gates does on that one page, you know the one with mr t, and i think it was called the mr t that couldn't slow down... lol...  
  do you know how illegal cute things can damn well be? it's like when you see them you go like "EEAAAAWWWW IT'S SO CUTE" in a really high pitched voice... lol, i donno, it could just be me 
  gruh, feels like i swallowed a whole peach >< man, my internet is beinf VERY damn DAMNED DAMNING slow 
  bleh, they were all like MUSH MUSH ... feh 
  hurry up and beep! ::waits for the micro-mowave:: THERE SHE BLOWS har har...  
  my feet are cold, actually i am cold, im so sick, my nose is all "SSSSHHTTBBB" and my feet are like blue and my hands are like shaking alot..... im going to make me some of those saucage roll thingys in the microwave and they will be all like RUGHUHGUH and i'll ::munch munch:: then it'll be good the end 
  ::squeals:: AWHHHHHHAHHWWAAA!!! THIS is SO DAMNED DAMN WELL CUTE!! ::dies of cuteness:: im glad while dying wufei and treize's hand were there and were my last sight ::sniff:: it makes a dead person so HAPPY 
  la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la laaa

do you fear that i will shuv you in the danger door? 
  "If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because man, they're gone." -- Jack Handy 
  i love wufeeeeiiii ::hearts:: lol, just so you know 
  there, i think it FINALLY bloody works, you know kinda like PISSKISS cuz the PISSKISS is coming and you'll be like piss kiss? and i'll be like NO IT'S PISSKISS!! 
  erg, there, i think i finally FIXED the bloody tracker, now im gonna search and see if it finds it! 
Tuesday, September 25, 2001
  hmm, i reseted my tracker and moved it, so now it should work, ERG this commercial with the sailormoon dolls is SO GAY HEY LOOK IT'S THE LUNA SPHERE ::raises eyebrow:: lol 
  ::cry:: NOOOOOOOO GOOOKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOUUUU'S DEAD ::cry:: lol, i knew he dies, but like, he's dead, and im like noooOOooOoOOoOOOOOOoo cuz gokou shouldn't be dead yet ::cries:: 
  ::dies in an abundant fury of explosiony action:: 
  CURSE YOU JOHN DEER!

XD


 
  i need some caffine darn it, it's early i haven't slept and my hair is going grey and white and stuff (it looks neat) i feel like crud need caffene 
  ::dies:: things shouldn' t be allowed to be so damn cute, dammit meg, i LLOOOAAATTTHHHHEEE your TRUTH telling abillities... i mean you're abillity to draw cute and sexy bitches XD

...i offically have problems..... n_n 
  damnation, i feel like a pile of fucking shit, i was choking on my peach and i was like dying, and then i got gooder after i was like "gasp gasp choke gag" man, i haven't really written much in here latley, have i? i guess so much shit is going on in my head i can't concentrate on anything, first i was so frigging cold then i was so damned hot and i'm dying of a desease that doesn't even exsist, i need to open my window.. MY WINNNDDOOOWWW, i need to stay up all day, and im really tired.. i have an awful headache still, .. my dreams have been so messed up the last few days, like REALLY bad... that thing in my knee, it's really starting to hurt... beh oh well, it's raining out again, the weather the last few days has been really to my taste, i think fall is the best season, it's all windy and the trees are all losing their leaves and shit... i dunno...  
  kay, i reallyneed to sleep 
  YAY!! anw2 is on otakuworldddd ::happy:: goooooood n_n 
  beh, im bored, im going to sleep (even though i slept like a house today) 
Monday, September 24, 2001
  ::stumbles over to her bed:: 
  man, my head hurts, i need a shower... beh i need to goto sleep for a few hours 
  that is so damned CUTE!! SO DAMNED CUTE! SO DAMNED CUUUUTTTEEE! lol... yeah cute 
  man, am i bored! my gut hurts (as usual) but im in a odd depressed and yet not kind of mood... i donno.. im gonna goto bingo.com and stir up a rukus 
  XD im listening to : Thunderdome - Fuck Macarena this song amuses me on many levels....  
Sunday, September 23, 2001
  Get aload of THIS sexy bitch XD 
  ::gargle:: dammut whenever the fucking power goes out, my computer has this major SHIT fit, and the stupid cable has been fucking around like a shit house and im like >,< cuz it's kinda hard to do anything when the cable goes in and out like a fuck face, my stupid internet and it's stupid pals were really fucking around today, remind me to shoot my computer when im done using it! 
  darn it, im tired, im gonna go watch all in the family and yeah it 
  my gut hurts, both on the inside and the outside... last night i was brushing my teeth, and i wasn't paying attention (you know in my OWN world) and i when i realized my gums were bleeding a plenty i was like "whoa" and then i went out in the living room and watched tv in the oh so seemly underbelly of ... uhm something or other -__-;; 
  gruh, i left at 4:11 am to pick up my brother from the PRISIN... and i waited and waited with my mom, and me mom and i were singing our own words to "It's been a while" by staind and we laughed and laughed, and i was telling her about how i used to throw chips and garbage into the old oven that was downstairs and shit, and we were talking about the "thing with legs" and it was like this big thing that held sand- or salt for the road, and there was this big story about how when the PRISIN men were bad they made them go in the danger door and put them in this tube and then they get sucked into the "thing with legs" and it goes nuts and launches you into the christmas tree in a box on a broken skid (lol) and a bunch of other shit, well i just got home now, and im tired i was up all night (as you can see) but im gonna stay up i guess, even though i really don't want to, but i don't care it's not like i have school or anything ::doesn't feel good:: alot of things have been bothering me latley, but i haven't snapped, which means a. im getting sick b. im going to explode on someone, so yeah, don't bug me, cuz im gonna get pushed alittle too far, you know? im gonna loose it after it took so long to get it, you know? yeah you know is fun to say.. and BEWARE THE DANGER DOOR XD
 
  ...my jaw still hurts >< at 4:15 (am) im going with my mom to pick my brother up (he's in jail, but only on the weekends) he goes in on friday night, and gets out at 6 sundey (yeah dey) morning.. lucky him, eh? damn i need some.. thing but i donno what, it's like an itch i can't scratch no matter how bloody it gets, it just won't go away 
Saturday, September 22, 2001
  my head hurts still, i was going to goto the store with my mom, but she left without me ;_; well i dn't think she knew if iwas coming or not.... beh, ivory is on my bed being a fruit at me 
  okay im going to sleep now, cuz i have a headache and im sick of taking pills for it 
  IM WATCHING TAMA AND FRIENDS!!! lol, it's so cute, kay yeah its cute  
  the tv is telling me about how to get ridof wrinkles and how it's bad to have wrinkles on your face and head and shit and im like "PISS" cuz i don't want to buy that shit, im not wrinkly......unless i am ::dun dun DUN!:: 
  you know, msn is so stupid, it doesn't allow the word "MESSAGE" in your name PISSKISS! o well, my name doesn't need that word, but screw, it's still stuid.. you know STUID CUZ STUID IS STUID NOT STUPID NO iT'S STUID! lol.. does ANYONE remember "THE TACO SIGN"?!/!??!?!? ANYONE?! how come no one remembers, it was only like a year ago or so, darn it, its bothersome that people don't remember! 
  ::drool:: lookit that sexy bitch, it's like ::drool:: and the shirt is like wet and i'm like ::grin:: luci-chan that sexy bitch.. (lol, i think my point has been made, now i must take many excedrin) 
  you know what? i lied on that test, my first love was alice cooper, yup that's who it was, lol, i find that pretty funny... i used to think that when you listened to his cd he was singing it to you live. or something... lol XD shh im watching NASH BRIDGES ::gag:: well im suposed to be sleeping, but im not at all tired, im gonna stay up all night, and im gonna goto sleep at 5 today... who thinks i can do it? (i don't cuz im a sleeping machine, but im gonna TRY!) lol, man i need to loose some pounds.. i NEED TUH ::is tubby:: im chunky and im funky ::dances:: LO (laugh outside!) yeah, i like this show cuz CHEECH is in it... but they WRECKED cheech, cuz he used to be all like "MEXICAN AMERICAN'S LIKE FLOWERS AND MUSIC AND WHITE GIRLS NAMED DEBBIE TOO, MEXICAN AMERICANS DON'T LIKE TO GET UP EARLY IN THE MORNING BUT THEY HAVE TO SO THEY DO IT REAL SLLLOOOOWWW MEXICAN AMERICAN'S HAVE NANA'S AND NONO'S AND NINA'S AND NANOANINIANOS MEXICAN AMERICAN'S GOTO NIGHT SCHOOL AND TAKE SPANISH AND GET A BEEEEEEEEEE" or something like that (lol) i just painted my nails.. now my room smells like nail polish m,m,.dnkljhalhkahkljadlkgjnadkljj whoa egg? .........my heaaaddd it hurts.... IT HUUURRTTSSS im hungry again, but there is nothing to eeeeeeeeeeeeat i'd like some grub...... GRUUUUBBB I SAAAYY!! ::chokes:: my head is gonna EXPLODE in some FURY of BLOOD and ACTION, ::is so dead, like zell cuz zell is so dead, like ive seen dead before, but he is sooo dead, like he's one of the most deadest deads in all the deady dead!::
 
  damn right 
  pisskiss, i'm boreded ... im watching reruns of voyager..... its the second part to the on with the equinox and thems things that hover... bleh... i have heart burn again, i guess i shouldn't eat food from tacobell, my jaw is still all gayed up.... it's like feeling the after effects of six feet of grape bubble tape ::drools:: i'd shure like LIKE LIKE SOMEMORE OF THAT GUM... latley all ive been doing is sleeping... i sleep so damn much, usually i can't sleep, but look at me go today i slept so damn much i woke up and i had a sleepheadache, i never have that... and i slept on my face so that REALLY helped my jaw... grrrr my stooommmaaccchhhh .. i'm COOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDD and i _WANT_ a mustaaaaaaaannnnnggggggggggggg my arm is ITCHY........ eh too lazy.. my throat is all like GRUH ::choke:: ::gag:: ::puke:: i want a 'stang.....  
  bruhm, i love steve irwin (the croc-hunter)... damn him and his having of a wife and kid.... ::cries:: lol .. . ....  
  ::laughs:: that commercial is on again ::singing::  
Friday, September 21, 2001
  im tirededed..beg 
  oh yeah, if even when cutting and pasting the picture doesn't work, then geocities deleted it, cuz for SOME reason it likes to delete things at random in my account(s) ... even my kami, and now im like >< 
  gruuuhhh my mom wokeme upppp and she threw my shorts at meeeeeeee, now my eyes are all watery and im like >< i scanned the birdie, it looks kinda demented(i think he moved when the scanner was going by..or something http://geocities.com/d_chan666/birdie.JPG there, you'll prolly have to cut and paste it, everyone should know that by now... feh im hungry 
  AAWWWWWWWwwwwwwuuuuhhhh

breh im headed back to bed, i have a headache like a house, and i'm watching "Taxi" beh..... i don't feel good . ... . .. . .. .. ::hurl:: today i ate 6 feet of bubble tape all at once and it was like ::choke:: and i acting like nemesis on my street, and i was like "man, my shadow looks like nemesis" and then i was like "...::depressed::..." you know? yeah yeah, my head hurts and so does my jaw i chewed the shit out of that gum.. and now im like "you can al-weys go ....AHHHCCKKKK DOONTOOOONNNN!!" okay, i need to rest my pain stricken head and it's like "crunch crack" and the commercial was singing the song that goes like "HEAAARRDD ITT IN AAA LOOOVEEE SOOONNNNGGG!!" and then some amie song and then the one that goes like "DON'T HAND ME NO LIES AND KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF" and then some other one's and then "black betty" and i like that song "black betty" by ram jam, cuz it's funny and i like it, but my head hurts and im like NOOO I DIDNT THINK I'D WIN ...ya know? ::dies:: 
Thursday, September 20, 2001
  OOOOOOoooooOoO i GET it.... well SOME of it... but my computer ...is being....so....sloow.(its been on for like 4 days straight) .... erggg i'll do this business later 
  man, the keenspace tagtorial confuses me on many levels... maybe i should sleep before i attempt this.... eh too lazy 
  taken from freckle's blog dammut!

I feel: sick, and pissed off, and ill, and mad, and MAD, and insane, and rowdy, and drunk and VERY BARFY all in one big explosion

I see: alot of things, like one time i seen a bird land on a hut... right now i see some garbage, old pizza which i couldn't eat cuz i didn't and don't feel good, some pop cans, an old old march madness cup with some pencils and some of thems instant chop sticks in it... and a dirty bowl sitting on my drawings on my printer and THE OTHER GUY and alot of other shit

I need: stuff, like more comics and more BRAINS and i need to loose some pounds and i need to take some asprins and i need some alchohol, and so forth

I find: YOU ANNOYING! and MY CLOCK ANNOYING and i find PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS! and i find that i get heart burn alot, and i find the tv annoying and i find the little bird cayute and so forth

I want: tons of shit, like more anime and manga and more posters and figures and i want to loose some pounds and i want school to stop bothering me, and i want everyone to leave me the hell alone and for them to mind their own damned business

I have: a small ass, and a big gut and a hair in my eye and a dog who is like my best friend, and a bird who hates me, and a computer and a tv and a scanner and a colour printer and a stereo and a cd burner and 8 anime posters and three walls scrolls, and like 29 beanie babies and alot of OTHER shit

I wish: to loose some pounds and alot of other shit (like being able to meet certain 'persons' in real life) and i wish i could fly and i wish that things like shows were real, and i wish i could read peoples minds, cuz im always wanting to know what other people are thinking

I love: my computer,anime/manga,my family (yeah i love them), my dog and other pets, my little old space aged tv w/VCR, a-certain-person-who-lives-very far-away-and-needs-to-e-mail-me-as-soon-as-he-can (or im gonna get medevil on his ass ...lol) and a load of bishounen... like vash and zelgadis, and liquid&solid snake, and hal(otacon), and wolfwood,and legato, and xelloss(yeah, i know i used to hate him but not no more) , and gourry and valgraav..or valgaarv or however his bleedin' name is spelt... and a shit load of others, and a shit load of other things too

I hate: people, you, me, school, life, you, people, you, me, you, school, my life, school, people, uhm this show right here ::holds up "THE DRAGON LEAGUE":: and old tv shows, and boring history shows, and stupid movies that are preppy and stupid, and britney spears and nsync and well ALL POP MUSIC and i hate people who think they are superior and i hate people that say they are insane when obviously they are just saying it so people'll pay attention to them, and i hate the sun when ive lived in my room so long, and i hate the fact that i want to go outside in the rain but if i do my mom and dad will be like "JHGJUNDA" and i hate having no life, and i hate people, and i hate flowers and music and white girls named debbie too, kay thats not actually true but it's funny and i hate you and i hate the rest!

I fear: facing people, and uhm.. meeting people, and getting to know people.. and well basically PEOPLE

I hear: music "EVERYTHING ENDS" by SLIPKNOT, and a plane that is flying over head and my tv on quietly and the ticking of my clock and the window shaking in the wind and the rain hitting the patio thingy and my fan rattling and the tv out there, and the loud thoughts of my own mind...

I crave: nothing really right now... maybe a bottle of pepto bismal

I regret: im not going there

When was the last time you.........

Smiled?: a little while ago when i was playing with the little birdie

Laughed? also a little while ago cuz the bird walked on my face and put it's foot in my eye(lol)

Cried? last sunday night i think... or monday morning or something.... i almost cried when i found out mr dressup died (hey, i have NO life)

Bought something? when _I_ personally bought something... mmm lets see... uhm... i don't know, my mom bought harveys and wendys tonight though... and i was there

Danced? a few minutes ago, i was in the living room looking outside and i did a rehab jig and danced around, then stopped to see if anyone saw me, and no one but some unsuspecting birds (sammy chung and bitch face)

Were sarcastic? when i was in my sis's room talking out loud to her

Kissed someone? hhmmmm let me think.... ... mmm this ones hard, i know how about never? WAIT !!! i kissed the bird (lol) and my dog... the last person i kissed was my hungarian grampa, he looks like the iron chef SAKAI (lol, well a european version)

Talked to an ex? mmm how about... never had one? well it wasnt a REAL one, it was an over the internet and i was just playing with the sap's head (im nice aren't i?)

Watched your favo::inserts a 'U'::rite movie? what IS my favourite movie?.... i donno... ::thinks:: prolly ROBIN HOOD AND HIS MERRY MEN or DUMB AND DUMBER and i haven't watched either of them in years ;_;

Had a nightmare? last night, cuz well most of my dreams ARE nightmares....

A Last time for everything...

Last book you read: uhm... MONDAY'S CHILD ::shudders:: that book SUCKED and it was STUPID AS HELL.... and it was a romance NOVEL ::gags:: ... what can i say? i was bored

Last movie you saw: Me, Myself & Irene when i was at my gramma's house a few days ago (and i disliked it alot, it was just stupid)

Last song you heard: "Don't Call Me White" by NOFX (and im still listening to it)

Last thing you had to drink: dr. pepper and still have it (i can't finish it)

Last time you showered: yesterday, i think

Last thing you ate: a reese peanut butter cup thingy

Do You...

Smoke? i get enuff second hand smoke, and why would i want it first hand? ::gags:: its not like ive never had one before though...

Do drugs? not unless the natural narcatics in my blood count

Sleep with stuffed animals? yeah, i do mostly with "HONEY BEAR" lol, ive had him all my life, and my body pillow which is actually a big catfish(lol)

Live in the moment? i suppose

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? sorta

Have a dream that keeps coming back? yeah, i tend to dream the same dreams alot, but it's weird, like ive dreamt about this icecream place like 5 times, and when i was little i had the same dream everynight, i'd stare at the same place on the wall and have that dream, it was about my family and this copy of my family but they all had blue eyes and they were evil, but the good taylors had this GIANT pet cow thing with wings and he used to stop evil crimes with me, and the evil taylors had a big animal too, and they put all these people into this GIANT white bucket.. lol, i donno and i alot of other shit too

Play an instrument? THE KAZOO AND THE RECORDER (lol) and i can SORTA play the piano

Believe there is life on other planets? I gather there is, but it's not a big deal to me

Remember your first love? yeah, it was this REALLY gay kid, when i was like 4 i loved him, and i saw him like 4 or 5 years ago and we played hide and seek with his little brother and my sister.. i think i donno, he's a fag and i hate him now

Still love him/her? no, i hate him, are you blind or something?

Read the newspaper? not unless there;s someone i know in it(and alot of the times there is)

Believe in miracles? hell no

Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? faithful to what? your ass?

Consider yourself tolerant of others? no, i hate people and i'd bathe in their blood if i could

Consider love a mistake? yeah, i supose it is

Like the taste of alcohol? yup, 'cept beer, i donno, i just don't like beer

Have a favorite candy? BRANDY BEANS (lol, they are dark chocolate bean shaped things with brandy in them and one time i ate them in school and i was smelling like a "booze hound" so im told)

Believe in astrology? i kinda do, cuz im a scorpio... and look how i act....

Believe in magic? i used to

Believe in God? no, i used to as well

Pray? to my ass maybe, to anything else; no, not anymore

Go to church? not anymore (i used to goto this bible thingy and such, and it turns out chris went to the same church as me)

Have any secrets? yeah, i do, but i ain't speaking about them

Have any pets? a dog, 2 budgies, ONE cockateil, and a NEW mutated GREY and GREEN and BLuE love bird

Do well in school? i used to

Go to or plan to go to college? i'd like to, but at this rate it ain't gonna happen

Have a major? no

Talk to strangers who instant message you? lol, yeah, i do, but it's usually ME whose the stranger going on about how i live in the space station in space

Wear hats? i wear a hood, i used to wear my special lugz hat everywhere, but that was like 2 years ago

Have any piercings? i used to have earrings until one got hella messed up and the stud went thru my ear lobe.. but i want my face peirced i just gotta find a place that'll do it when i get cash

Have any tattoos? naw, i want some though

Hate yourself? yeah, i do infact

Have an obsession? yes i do, alot of them infact

Collect anything? i used to collect them masks, and porcellin dolls, and beanie babies, and pencils and pogs, but that was like when i was in grade 4 0_o all i collect now is garbage and stuffed animals (-_-;;)

Have a best friend? yeah, i have a human best friend too

Wish on stars? not in a LONG LONG time, like the last time i did was when i lived with my grandparents (and i was in grade 2/3)

Like your handwriting? no, but it's suits who i am, big and sloppy

Have any bad habits? i supose i swear too damn much, and i suppose i hate people, and i miss way too much school and i can't spell ...i have a lot of others but.. hell screw you im going to pisskiss off now ::copies post, thinks about the NON reliable-ness of BlogThis! and hits post and publish:: 
Wednesday, September 19, 2001
  my stomach hurts (you notice i seem to whine about my ill ness alot?) ::dies:: 
  im bored, i want to goto the asian market place thing, i want to get some pocky and some hello panda, and some of these cookie things and some stuff ::drools:: my sister is going to the MEET THE TEACHER thing tonight at her school and im going to keep up my tradition of going and sitting in the car... lol, last year it was raining on this day, and SO IS IT NOW !!! AHCH! ::chokes and dies:: 
  the biiiiiiiirrrrrrddiieeeeee SO CUTE IT IS! 
  ><................ im eating pizza left over from lunch GRUH and maaaaaan do i have heartburn 
  mruh, my sister and mom just went to get the BIRDIIIIEEEE... i had to clean the cage to put it in tho.... now i REEK of vinegar.... lol, my hands are pruned up with vinegar, cuz the cage was dirty, and outside so i went and i dumped the extra seeds on the lawn for the birds outside, and i brought it in and it took my an hour to clean it, so my hands are pruned up with vinegar (lol) and such... lol, and my pants have vinegar and the washroom smells like vinegar and when ever someone enters my presence they will smell my faint smell of vinegar ::HAHAHAH:: I AM THE VINEGAR QUEEN!! hahahHAHAHAHA ...uhm, im going to watch the rest of DEXTER'S LAB (haha, it's on, and im bored) 
  man, i don't feel good ::hurl:: and im like ::hurling:: my lunch which was good, cuz there was the POG-smelling like thing and it was mm mm good, and i was like "mmm" when i ate it, lol.... ::Drool:: i wish i could go back in time and eat it again (lol) im not even hungry... i had KFC for supper.... it was good- well in a greasy grease kind of way... i love KFC and HARVEY'S FRIES ::drools:: and of course TACO BELL'S FRIES ...i like fries, they are like so.... potato-y and they can be soggy-or-crispy and they STILL taste good... the only kind of fries i hate are... i'd have to say over cooked ones (i like raw potato fries, and FROZEN FRIES when they are STILL froze) lol, im talking about fries... how gay is that? well, im boring and bored, i wanna watch b's tape of lost universe, (shees she's had it since april cuz she got it at anime north, and i still havent got around to watching it....) -_-; lol, there is a skunk wandering around outside somewhere and my brother was near his window/door downstairs and he said "SKUNK" really loud, it amused me... i smell of nail polish .... bleh, its not that bad of a smell but when you have a headache it is, man im typing with one finger, and my dead arm is falling asleep... there now i have my fingers on the right keys, cuz im special! HAR HAR i type with my fingers on the right keys for some reason, i donno maybe im just dumb............................... im thirsty, but im not wearing pants, and i don't htink my dad(who is watching "JERRY SPRINGER") would appreciate that.... , i wonder if i spelt that right.... well my face is itchy, im ugly, you know that? im HIDEOUS infact, i need to go on a diet...yeah that's what im going to do, as soon as we get some money, im going on this one diet my aunt got from her father-in-law because he was going for heart surgery and he needed to loose some pounds, and the diet worked for myaunt (whom i hate to death) and now my aunt is like this skinny-i-dyed-my-hair-blonde-slutty-old-wrinkley-bitch, just cuz shes on a diet her kids have to be too, how gay is that? and if shes not there, and there is goodies and her two kids get their hands on them, they eat like it's there last meal... it shouldn't be like that, but who cares? i don't that's for shure.... ::scratches her face:: buh i hate my hair... this post is long... well that is all ::is ugly and fat and ugly:: beh ::copies post and pushes post and publish then dies:: 
  i don't feel good..... my sister is getting the rest of her love bird tomorrow (lol) my mom payed 100 bux tonight and 50 tomorrow (cuz she didn't have all of the cash on her) but yeah the love bird is a mutated one, it's like blue and grey and stuff it's so cayute...... n_n;; it;s just a baybee, i figure im not going to ever get a snake, because my dad is such an asshole, but everytime i goto the pet store i just stare at the snakes and go "man, i want one" and i always look at the books with SNAKES on them and go "Man, they are SO cute" ...sigh, this upsets me so, i want a snake so soooo badly.... brit's getting a bird cuz hers flew away, but smokey(herbird) was such a bastard, and now she's getting a baby love bird and it's REALLY sweet and it likes people, now i have a lonley bird who HATES me, and another ASS bird who you cant get near without it having a shit fit(Sammy Chung), and a dog who is so stupid it rubs its ass on you.... ::grumbles::  
Tuesday, September 18, 2001
  grrreeehhh 
  NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ::Cry:: WHHHYYYY???!?!?!?! I LOVED HIM!! ::cries:: i grew up watching him on tv, i loved him like a house ::weeps:: kay, i was sad when i found out the actor for Archie Bunker died, but i'm so much sadder now, im like "....::cry:: ... ::sniff:: nooo...." i'm so sad... WHHHHYYYYY?!?! ::weep:: he was like someone i looked up to, i never really looked up to anyone ::sad:: 
  mmm i might be getting HOME SCHOOLING-OOLING-OOLING ::ecoes s'more:: lol, well with the help of my computer, my MIGHTYFUL brain and my momma's skillz in math, i might actually LEARN something in my OWN HABITAT! -_-; my mom is SKILLZ in math (too bad i didn't get thems jeans...er GENES ehehe, i just got my dad's shit memory) if my chair spun around, id be spinning up a storm... wait... BRITT'S CHAIR SPINS ... but its so far away... ::lazy:: im gonna get HOME SCHOOLING till next year, and im gonna goto school for 11 and 12, cuz well that's the way its gonna go down.... mmrrhhhuhuhuhumhmmmmmbbulllltttoooooooeee! yeah.... im going to watch slayers, cuz i like slayers, and im bored and slayers is a good show, too bad its dubbed, but that's okay i like slayers and its funny n_n;;; hehehe OH YEAH! kay i donno about some people, but i have digital cable, and there is this newstation called ANIMAL PLANET, there is this show (my dad is watching it) and it has the like EXCACT same music as resident evil 3 (just like higher'n'such) and i'm like UHGUHGPPPOHUHUHSUH! IM GONNA SUE IM GONNA SUE! and then im like....wait no im not... okay that is all for now, but i have one thing to say MAY PRE-HOUSE THE SEAMY SIDE VOLITATION!! XD ....... XD 
  n______n there's a spider on my roof, i haven't seen a spider on my roof in a long time (n_n) i feel happy, cuz now i have someone to talk to T_T; 
  mmmm, i feel ... odd, like im tied down and blind folder while people cut at me with dull objects.... yaknowwhat i mean? ...mmmidonno, the other guy is right here beside me, and he's looking at me with the same expression on his face that he always has. ..... someday, maybe tonight i'll scan him, and you can see him in all his glory.... 
Sunday, September 16, 2001
  the itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout,
down came the rain and washed the spider out
out came the sun and dried up all the rain
the itsy bitsy spider was caked onto the lane 
  words don't mean anything anymore 
  i feel so sad, it's like i took something i really loved for granted, and some ripped it from my arms and killed it right before my eyes, and i couldn't stop it, no matter how hard i tried, i just stood there and watched at they killed it, as they kicked it and stomped on its skull, until finally it breathed it's last breath, and it's now gone forever, and it'll never come back no matter how many tears i shed, no matter how many scars i make, it'll never come back, cuz i didn't take care of it like i should have, i just pulled a me, and was well me about it.... sigh, i don't know what im talking about anymore all i know is that im a scared, ugly, sad person 
  Your Keirsey Temperament is : The Rational Portrait

The Rational Portrait

All Rationals (NTs) share the following core characteristics:

Rationals tend to be pragmatic, skeptical, self-contained, and focused on problem-solving and systems analysis.
Rationals pride themselves on being ingenious, independent, and strong willed.
Rationals make reasonable mates, individualizing parents, and strategic leaders.
Rationals are even-tempered, they trust logic, yearn for achievement, seek knowledge, prize technology, and dream of understanding how the world works.

Rationals are the problem solving temperament, particularly if the problem has to do with the many complex systems that make up the world around us. Rationals might tackle problems in organic systems such as plants and animals, or in mechanical systems such as railroads and computers, or in social systems such as families and companies and governments. But whatever systems fire their curiosity, Rationals will analyze them to understand how they work, so they can figure out how to make them work better.

Rationals are very scarce, comprising as little as 5 to 7 percent of the population. But because of their drive to unlock the secrets of nature, and to develop new technologies, they have done much to shape our world.


i don't THINK i'm a rational person.... but i answered the questions truthfully,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, pen....
me: i'm not a rational person
b: no, your not..... but... YOU HAVE A RASH ON YOUR ASS!! ...wait wait i wouldn't know....
me: ...

that just HAPPENEDDED! mmkay 
Saturday, September 15, 2001
  ::annoyed to a great extent:: grr, my mom said she was going to the store "QUICKLEY" it's been 2 and a halfhours >< lol, that reminds me this morning i woke up cuz i almost fell off my bed, i was like gonna go but i woke up and i was like UHUH and then i laughed really loud, cuz i have a loud and annoying laugh, like last night this guy GORD was here (my dad's friend) and i was in b's room, and i was sitting on her bed (well her mattressses are on the floor cuz her bed broke) and i was tryiung SO hard to read the second graphic novel of PEACH GIRL (Yeah, Lisa , britt bought the second one, she says if you wanna borrow it yuh can ) and i could cuz britt kept spinning these shitty plastic necklaces around her finger until the flung off, and they kept hitting me in the face, and such and then i was whipping the fan on the roof with the fan, and all this dust went everywhere, and it was FUNNY i JUST wanted to read the bleedin' book, but britt wouldn't let me, she was flinginging things at me, like scrunchy-hair things and she hit me with a playstation paddle, and a bunch ofnecklaces, and shit and shit and shit!! and i was laughing REAL loud, and then my dad comes down and goes "I have company, shut your door if your gonna do that weird screaming shit ::shuts door::" i laughed aboot that... you see, me and my sister get along REAL good, but i always read things about people and there siblings and they all bad mouth them, it's like *+* me and b bad mouth eachother to our faces, its like "You're ugly" "Yeah, i KNow so are you!" its like we tell it like it is, ya know? i think we're jusst weird... like me and b tend to laugh at the same time in the same way an say the same things at the same times, and shit and shit and sheet! AND YOU HUMP RODS XD

...............................im hungry, i want some microwaved perogies now, so pisskiss 
  ::finds a big gift box in her room:: ::GASP:: IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS!!! ::the box struggles and manly two legs bust out:: ::person in box says "HMMM MMMM":: ::gasp!:: SNAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEE ::rips the top off the box:: oh look at you, you sexy bitch! ::snake is wearing his shorts with the hearts and sd snake heads on it:: XD yesterday i beat MetalGear Solid again, and so now its the third game on the same save... and you know what THAT means, YUP that's right SNAKE WEARS A TUX W/BOW TIE!!! XDDDDDD and Cyborg "NINGA" has the colouration of SPIDERMAN!! XD it's like at this one part snake fights him and snake;s like "No... You Died in zanibar >insert blabing< ::calls the colonol on the codec:: COLONOL! THAT "NINGA!" IS SPIDER MAN!!!" okay, so that doesn't happen like that, but in MY world it does, darn it! DAMN IT!! AHAHAHAHHAa..... maan i smell like soy margrine >< ::has a stomach aache:: i feel ILL, 'specially cuz of what is on tv... URGH POP MUSIC KILLING BRAIN SHUT DOWN IN ::dead:: 
  mmm, i should prolly sleep since im going to my gramma's tomorrow morning- er this morning n_n;; well, my mom got a rent a car yesterday, the insurence company is paying for it, well, they are scrapping my old betsy ::cry:: lol, the old jalopy is finally gonna die forever, they are only scrapping it, cuz paying for the damages would be stupid (it'd cost like1200 bux or something, and the car's not even worth that) so we have this cool black small neo-car, and its like "yeah" but the seat belts in the front lock up and youre like ::gasp choke gag:: and i hit my head on the roof alot, but eh, o well... yeah we're going to goto my gramma's in that car, and i'm gonna listen to good music, in a good car, that has a good stereo in it (with CD player n_n) yeah, last night, me and b were just sitting there listening to the radio real loud and sneaky pete and his 'posse' came over and they were asking me why i was writing on b's "boob" but i wasn't i wrote "CHUG" on her shirt in chalk...lol, then i just said in this really fruity voice "Cuz we're spe-cial people, with spe-cial jo-obs!" it was funny... then we went to super pet to see the animals and get some bird food, and there was a milksnake there and i REALLY REALLY want it, or the amazon-something-or-other boa, and i was like AAAWWWUHHH cuz there was this little king snake(i can't remember what kind, but he/she was green) and i want one, and there was this black exotic bird, he/she was neat, i put my finger up to the cage where it was and it stuck it's big long tongue out and licked my finger i was just like "..." and wondered why it had such a long tongue, then i read and found out that it was a nector eatingbird, and i was like chuckle, then ilooked at the rats and i was like AWWWUUHHH and there was a white one sleeping and i was like ::drool:: and then i was looking at the chin chillas and the one was really close to the edge and i was looking in at it, then b went to touch it and it freaked out and ran off into it's "hut" of some sort.......... mm my back hurts >< im going ta bed now, nite nite 
Friday, September 14, 2001
  ::cry:: i'm so screwed ::sobs:: i didn't go, i didn't, now i don't know what to do ::sobs:: my mom doesn't get why i don't want to goto that school, or any school, i hate people, i'd rather inflict serious bodily harm on myself then have to put up with people ::sobs:: i don't know what im going to do though, or what im going to say when it comes monday ::sobs:: 
  i'm sick of butchering things i used to love, i'm sick of seeing their pain, im sick of watching them bleed and suffer, i just want it to stop, so i don't have to feel guilty anymore, i just want it to stop, i want the whining to stop, i want the sound of hacking to stop, i want people to shuttup, i want it to stop, this should be over by now, but it's not, it's just the same thing repeated over and over, you think that one awful thing is over, and the phrase "Better days ahead!" pops into your mind and you think "mm good" and then someone you know dies, or something much worse happens then the phrase "It'll get worse, before it gets better" will be back in your mind, and you'll be sick and think that things couldn't get worse, but then they do, and you just give up, im sick of giving up, but that's all i know how to do anymore, if you don't try, you won't be broken down and trampled on, and you'll be safe in your hole, your hell, you won't be hurt, but you have yourself and your mind, and you'll give up again, just like before, again and again, you just can't stop, it becomes a routine, and you know nothing more, but it, and then you take your final step in life, and die, the chopping will end, and all is well 
  i can't sleep, im freaking out, i gotta puke, my stomach hurts >< im gonna puke, but i don't want to, i don't want to go, i really don't want to to, it's like i know im going to die tommorow, so im making myself sick so every moment feels like forever, and just when i stop worrying someone'll say "Hey, tomorrow, you're going to die!" and i get sick and think how i wish things were simple once again, and i wouldn''t have to chop the fingers off anymore 
Thursday, September 13, 2001
  latley have i mentioned i hate people? ::cusses:: im angry, i want to kill something, mmkay? good damn right 
  guh, i have school tomorrow >< ::cry cry::  
Wednesday, September 12, 2001
  i don't feel good >< tommorrow im going to the school to have an interveiw with some person >< i don't want to, i don't want to go  
  why don't people understand me? 
  ......mruhrm, my brain it hurts 
  eh you've never been to toronto, when kids younger then myself come up to the car and ask for money, most people just shut their window, and ignore them, shure i know it's awful that many people were killed, but they had nothing to do with me, and yeah i feel bad for the people that were close to the ones who were killed, but it's like it hasn't sunk in, or something, or it could be the fact i really don't care about things anymore, and no i don't think it's some funny joke, feh i don't feel like arguing or anything, i'm just fucked up, and i know it, yeah, it shocked me, infact i was just speechless, but what can i do? sit here and cry about other people? im an athiest, so i don't pray, so what am i supposed to do? i can't donate blood, or should i just become even more depressed about other people's problems, people whom i don't even know? i don't know... zuh i have a headache 
Tuesday, September 11, 2001
  yawn, im bored and i have a headache about everyone's stupid fuss ::cusses:: 
  kay this is just down right annoying, people EVERYWHERE aregoing On and ON about the planes and the crashing and the dying >< it's VERY bothersome every other channel its like "terrorist this terrorists that!" people should learn that it is done and over now get over it, just liek with princess diana, and the titanic, everyone makes such abig deal out of STUPID things, it's like "I wish i could help" or "I wish i was there, so i could do this" BLAH BLAH people seem to care about disasters, and getting good reputations and shit, then they do about there fellow man, like say a person feels so bad about all them people dying, but do they feel bad when they don't give a homeless person money? no, cuz it's like people only start to care when its heavy casualties, like "we don't need anymore homeless drunks, so im not going to give, im not going to care if they had no money to buy food or a blanket, what's one persons life?" and this all proves my reason of hating people even more, cuz everyone is too busy thinking of their selves, and when they DO think of someone else, it's because something so awful has happened ::grumbles:: i hate people with a bloody passion 
  im chewing my two button halves.... im bored, b went to exchange these pants and to get new pants, im sitting here with a pair of "joe boxer" plaid pants on with a giant rip down the leg (it was originally a little hole, but i was bored T_T;;) 
  aw, i broke my button in half ...dammut 
  man, every channel that plays news is playing this crap over and over, im sure if i was amercian, or i had friends in those areas i might actually care, but im not and i don't, so if youre gonna bug me about not caring go ahead, my mom is so afraid that a war is going to break out, and we(canadians) are gonna be screwed up, it's nice though to not hear planes over head every 15 minutes, its so.... quiet, zuh, i just don't get why ppl in london and people in canada are closing government buildings, cuz they kinda declared 'war' on the u.s. not them or us, i was watching and they showed the second plane smash into the tower live, but the people in the towers and the people on the hijacked planes i kinda feel sorry for (but not the people in the PENTAGON) if anyone you know/knew was in the towers at the time when the plane hit, im sorry


im eating a button ::chew chew:: uhm, yeah 
  well, the terrorist thing is not my problem, and im not losing any sleep over it, i just find it funny that a place like the pentagon is suposed to be SO "secure" could get a plane driven into it, same with the towers, feh, people are idiots ::laughing:: hey, im an uncaring bitch so piss off if you think that i should feel sorry for them, cuz i won't  
  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA ::laughing SO HARD:: TERRORISTS ATTACKED THE PENTAGON!! ::EXPLODES IN LAUGHER:: damn right!! them damn pentagon BASTARDS ::laughing:: and the planes that hit the world trade center!! ::finds this so amusing:: well im not american, and the pentagon bastards are sons of bitch ::laughing REAL hard:: my dad woke me up to watch this, and im glad, cuz i wouldn't want to miss this for the world! ::lauhging as she watches the tv:: 
Monday, September 10, 2001
  ::looks around:: my sister downloaded the cybersix opening, and shes listening to it and singing to it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over ...well you get the picture ::has a pounding headache:: my hair is all matted u_u;; i need to BRUSH and WASH and BRUSH and WASH and BRUSH it ... if someone bothers me when im brushing my mat some people call hair i get SO mad and yell at them and cuss alot T_T; i dunno WHY though, i guess cuz i get pissed so easily (but i don't stay pissed for long...well MOST of the time) my jaw still hurts, im going to take a handful of assburns and im going to sleep ::is sick and in pain and is conflicted by things:: note my imood ^_~ heh, okay i need sleep now ::stumbles to her drawer and snatches her bottle o'excedrin and hops down the hall to the kitchen to fetch some liquid debris aka waturr::  
  im such a slob ::looks bitter:: i wanna go shoot some helpless white tail deer now 
  XD i find it really funny that my chair has an ass groove, its like the shape of my ASS XD ::laughing like a thing that laughs alot:: when im bored i draw on my desk, my desk has so much profanities on it ::laughing:: man my jaw is hurting alot and when i do this ::moves mouth:: it makes this cracking sound like......... SNAP CRACKLE POP or something 
  im so bored.... i have an hour to waste before my sister gets home, and then me and her will be playing metal gear ... we are weird o_0 i have one hell of a headache, sammy chung and bitch face (the two budgies) are yapping away out there and its bothering me.... oh yeah, since Mokona(the female cockateil) is on the balcony she has two new friends (lol) seriously though these two cardinals come and see her everyday (well, shes only been out there like.... three days but they come) IF YOU BUILD IT THEY WILL COME ::shudders::that reminds me too much of OLD (aka mike the rehab hippy english teacher) my arm hurts, i drew a picture, and im PROUD of it well MOST of it, his legs look like someone broke them and bent them backwards (lol) GUH MY JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWUUUUUHHHH, i guess i slept like a fag on my face.... wait i DID, i always sleep on my face, maybe that's why im so hideous? I DONNO ITS PRETTY GAY! wow, i havent used that phrase in a LONG while....i missed it... it reminds me of a few years ago when me and my sister got passes for wild water kingdom and we were going on one of the big slides and when we were in the line up we were like "ITS OKAY YOUR GAY!" and we were acting SOretarded, and the people had the "....get help" look on their faces and we laughed and we did the jive at the person (i think it was a really tanned younger looking fella.... or a really old guy or something) in front of us, but he didn't notice that we were pointing at him... so i laughed and b laughed and we all laughed ::sigh:: the good ol' days... that was before i met lisa... so it was the summer before i went into grade 7... 
  mrah, im bored, my jaw hurts like a beast, hotmail is being a fuckface to me (as usual) i could tell you where to download anw2 from..... but, i won't cuz im so nice n_n i want smokey to come back, it makes me sad knowing he's out there and he's hungry ;_; i hope he comes back, we were gonna put an add in the paper, but they want 35 dollars for 15 words (lol, you could use really big words and people would be like "...") man, i know im going to hate ching so fucking much ::cusses:: it's gonna be so SHITTY ::hate hate:: ::mad:: i don't want to go, im gonna freak out, i REALLY want to move, it doesn't really matter if i live in the middle of no where, if i have my computer, and a connection to the internet, i'll be fine, cuz i don't go out or anything, i just sit here infront of my moniter, in its glowly haze, or infront of my/sis's radioactive tv playing video games/or/watching re-runs of shows 
  rumdidibumdidibumdidiboo... blah, i don't feel like it, there you are, i sent ANW2 to otakuworld, so feel thine wrath o' it 
  URGUHHHUUUUUUHHHHHH my eyes dey are vatering again!! ben is gay the end (actually yeah) 
Sunday, September 09, 2001
  my dream last night was weird, first lisa, b, and i were entering this singing and music video contest, and for some reason my video was just scenery with like mountains and shit, and there was only four and it sucked, and lisa's video was from sabermarionette j, and it was cool, and b's was from..the lion king 2 (har har) and so we had to go up on stage and sing with the video, but when we got there it was already started so we sat and watched and it really sucked, so then i was driving somewhere with this really scary looking guy, and we went to this place, and i was in this net with two dead broads, and i was like bleh, so then i got out of the net, and i was this man, and i was really gross, and i went around this building and this place blew up, and so i visited this other guy and i used his bathroom, but the bathroom had no door, it had like this little foldy thing and i was like this crusty man, and i was on the run from someone, and then i woke up.... uh huh, what a cool dream eh? 
 









XD i didn't draw/create that it's from a very jokes comic called 'Lenore' and well i just thought it was funny goto http://spookyland.com/ for stuff about it and stuff
 
  dammut, we need to rent metal gear again >< our first disk doesnt go past the part where you fight the ninja (frank) ::grumble:: we'll have to rent it from a different place, cuz we've already taken there second disk and put our nonworking one in (har har) even though i've beat the game, im beating it again and again and again, its just so eeezeee..... im hungry, my dad is making fries ::has plans to steal some:: ...bleh.... i woke up at 8:30 am -_- im SO not a morning person, i watched the digimon movie earlier... jee i found it soo boring, it was like and then and then this and then and then blah, i think they tried to tell a long story in a too short span of time, you know what i mean? it was like done and done and done the end! and i found the fact that the damn american asses put all the REHAB music in it, im glad i didn't pay to see it, ::hugs her digital cable:: i get to see all the movies i want for only ONE small monthly bill...im not indorcing it, i just think it is better than boring old normal cable... 
  man, i feel really restless, im just like wanting to jump around, but i look around and everyone is still asleep -_- 
Saturday, September 08, 2001
  ::is pissed off:: i hate people 
  bleh.... my day sucks, the best thing that happened... well b beat dino crisis 2... ::sniff:: i love dylan(is that how his name is spelt?) that ass shouldn't have stayed with his future daughter to die, HE SHOULD HAVE WENT WITH REGINA!! DAMMUT! its like... even though she can go back in time when she knows how to fix the time gate to save him, its just not the same ::cry:: i think smokey is gonna be dead, cuz this morning my mom seen him up in this tree near ching, and then he flew into some guys backyard so my mom asked if they could try to get the bird, and they people we like yea okay okay, but then my brother scared him away by throwing something at him (DAMMIT!) and last night at like 3 am or something i was trying to sleep on the couch and james wakes me up to ask me my website's address >< cuz he wanted to show sam(his girlfriend) my drawings >< that site sucks anyways... 
  i knoooww them pickled plums are insanely salty, with tooth chipping cababilities...or something ::wonders:: it looks like its gonna rain, mmm poor smokey ;_; 
  mooo 
  IF YOU(you know who the fuck you are, you asshole, you fuckface, you shithead, you bastard who likes to be an ass to me) ARE READING THIS I HOPE YOU STOP IT! I HOPE YOU STOP BEING SUCH A DICK! YOU REALLY REALLY LIKE TO DO THINGS LIKE THIS DON'T YOU?! WELL FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!

im going back to bed now, then i won't have to think about this 
  lol, yes i can imagine that rappping he'd be like "GOTO SCHOOL GOTO SCHOOL DO NOT DO DRUGS DO NOT STEAL CARS BE REAL COOL GOTO SCHOOL I AM COOL, I WENT TO SCHOOL YOU FAILED MATH SO YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH GOTO SCHOOL DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE GOTO SCHOOL STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS GOTO SCHOOL PLAY SPORTS SO YOU DO NOT DO DRUGS STAY IN SCHOOL SCHOOL YEAH I AM COOL I WENT TO SCHOOL" well, maybe not, but from my little know-idge of him, that's what i'd think he'd say (lol, prolly not, but eh you know the thing)  
Friday, September 07, 2001
  i really love the colour strips you have many -a- paitence, and i really REALLY like your comic (it's one of my faves, it really is) n_n...
... man, my life is such a joke ::sad:: 
  i just have no luck, none at all, im never going to see smokey again, he's six feet under and pushing up daises through my eyes ::is depressed again::  
  well, i just wandered around outside whistling for him, my mom and sister are looking around the school for him. He's as good as dead now, and then my bird is going to die, cuz they mate for life, and when one goes, the next follows shortly after, so this is retarded, and you know, even though he was a bastard, we still luvd him 
  jesus, my bird (smokey) just flew out the door 
  rhahaga 
  ::gulps down rootbeer:: guh ::brrap:: ...lol, im za mood fer loove...acutally im in the mood to DO something ::looks around:: ....hmmmmmm 
  my mom's car looks like someone used a giant canopener down the side...and you know what? the ass that rammed into her, didn't even give her his LEGAL name he said it was R.J. that's not a legal fricking name, the damned bullshitters! and you know what's bad... the fact that my brother was driving, well, he's allowed to drive, but there is a warrent out for his arrest, so when they goto this-place-which-is-run-by-the-opp-and-i-member-what-its-called, to acess the dammage, my brother has to be there (and if they run his name through the computer, he's going to jail, cuz he's already out on bail) ...fehfehfeh, and the warrent says arrest without desgression, so that means that the cops could just come running to the door of the house and use whatever force to bake him away....bake.. . or soemthing ..im going to go see if i can russtle up some grub... and i should prolly get dressed ::looks around:: damned americans! (lol..don't ask)  
  bleh, i feel like an ass 
  mmokay, i feel better, i was so tired last night....... zuh, im bored, i just watched dubbed sailmoon AHJF it was gay, i hate that show, its boring....so boring i need to do something.... i want to watch tv, but there is like nothing on... maybe judge mills lane is.... but i donnooo 
Thursday, September 06, 2001
  i hate you, its as simple as fucking that 
  you know what? im losing it! I KNOW IT! I HATEBLOGGER IT ALWAYS DELETES MY FUCKING FUCKERED FUCKED FUCKING FUCK FUCK POSTS!! ...ISPENT LIKE HALF AN HOUR TYPING THIS LONG POST AABOUT MY BROTHER AND STUFF AND ITS GONE! IM GONNA STAB SOMEONE!!!! IGHUEHAGKJNGDALKQ!!!! 
 
DISASTER PEICE
I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound
I wanna push my face in and feel the swoon
I wanna dig inside, find a little bit of me
Cuz the line gets crossed when you don't come clean


My wormwood meets your pesticide
You'll never get out, coz you were never alive
I am infinite, I am the infant finite
Come a little closer and I'll show you why


(NO ONE IS - SAFE)
Noises, noises, people make noises
people make noises when they're sick
Nothing to do except hold on to NOTHING


How does it feel to be locked inside another dream
That never had a chance of being realized?
What the fuck are you lookin' at?
I'll tell you what you're lookin' at
Everyone you ever fuckin' laughed at


Look in my eyes for the answers - typical
I can feel it underneath like a miracle
Everybody in the world needs more than
Lies and consequences to poser them
Once again, it's me and no one else
I can't remember if there was a someone else
It's not mine, it's not fair, it's outta my hands
And it's shaking - you'll never take me


(NO ONE IS - SAFE)
Noises, noises, people make noises
People make noises when they're sick
Nothing to do except hold on to NOTHING


NOTHING!


(HATE) Hate ain't enough to describe me
(SCREAM) Somewhere between screaming and crying
I'm not supposed to behere
I'm not supoosed to be


(WHY) When do I get to know why?
(BITTER) Bitter as the stink of when I try
I'm not supposed to be here
I'm not supposed to be
Pull your hands away


I'm gone - goodbye - it's so depressing
Withering away
Take a look - inside - my soul is missing
All I have is dead, so I'll take you with me
Feel like I'm erased - so kill me just in case


(COVET) Everything around me's mine
(STY) Can't see through the sties in my eyes
I'm not supposed to be here
I'm not supposed to be


(DOWN) Scratching and clawing all the way
(STAY) You won't let me fucking stay
I'm not supposed to be here
I'm not supposed to be


(LIVE) Is there another way to live?
(DIE) Cuz it's the only way to die
I'm not supposed to be here
I'm not supposed to be
 
  FUCK I AM SO FUCKING PISSED THE HELL FUCKING OFF I WANT TO KILL SOMETHING AND THE FACT THAT EVERTHING IS FUCKING ANNOYING ME IS REALLY FUCKING BOTHERING ME, THESE DAMN DOGS OUTSIDE MAKE SO MUCH NOISE THEY WALK AROUD AND I CAN HEAR THEIR STUPID UGLY FUCKING PAWS MAKING RETARDED SOUNDS AND THEY ARE ALL DOGS THAT HAVE SMASHED IN FACES SO THEY BREATHE LIKE THE HAVE NO MOUTH AND THEY WONT STOP BARKING AND RUNNING AROUND AND BREATHING SO LOUD AND ITS DRIVING ME UP THE WALL IM GONNA SCREAM AT THEM I HATETHEM I HATE YOU AND I HATE ME IM SICK OF THIS SHIT, IM SO ANGRY AND I WANT TO KILL YOU AND FEAST UPON YOUR INNARDS SO THEN PEOPLE WHO CALL ME CRAZY NOW, WILL ACTUALLY BE RIGHT AND THEY'LL LOCK ME IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL AND THEY'LL RIP A PEICE OF MY BRAIN OUT THROUGH MY NOSE SO I'LL STOP SHOUTING AND RANTING AND THEN I'LL BE A MINDLESS PERSON, AND THEN I'LL STAB YOU WITH A PEICE OF GLASS AND SMILE DOWN UPON YOUR CORPSE AND THEN BREAK OUT IN TEARS WHILE LAUGHING AND THEN I'LL KILL MYSELF AND THAT WILL BE THE END OF BRAINDEAD D AND NO ONE WILL NOTICE THAT I WAS BLOSSOMING INTO A KILLER UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE AND I WAS PACKING THEIR HEADS INTO A GLAD FREEZER BAG! 
  ::looks around:: ... ::says in scratchy voice while smoking a ciggarette:: I can't tell you who I am, but I have news for you...... YOU SUCK AND I HATE YOU!!
@~ look its the (suposed) to be upside down farting @ sign....... i REALLYdon't feel good >guh< latley things i like- er love seem so bothersome, like star trek, i love star trek, also like listening to slipknot, and korn and all these other songs which i love, its all so... boring now a days, everything is boring, i can't even sit down and draw a picture cuz it's so boring... i need friends 
  i'm a bean? COOL! 
  im waiting for someone to reply to my e-mail, and if your reading this RIGHT NOW YOU ARE A NAUGHTY BOY! im going to throw you OUT the window, onto your asscan and i will point and laugh as you rub your ass cuz of the pain of the cement breaking it!! and then the dishes will invade my house, but that... is ANOTHER story 
  eh...i had to turn my computer on, CUZ ITS A DRUG! uhm ... ::toodles off to watch her sister play dino crisis 2:: 
  man, i have such a headache...my computer is a fucked up, im turning it off, so if your looking for me, my computer will prolly be turned off till maybe 6pm my time, so uhm..................... read my archives if you miss me that much (lol, yeah right!) 
  and yes for the record lucifer and yuken ARE sexy bitches! ::drools:: 
  la la la la im in a weird mood, i just sat in the car for SO LONG! i left my house at 8:45 didn't get home till now, well, a little while ago (maybe 15 minutes? i donno) i hate shopping, i hate people, i really REALLY hate people... im SO HUNGREH! SO HUNGREH! my parents are fighting AGAIN! they ARE ALWAYS FIGHTING! im sick of it, my mom said that i really suprised her when i was speaking to mr. rozario(or mr uglybaldman) she now know why i miss so much school, and now she thinks i should goto a shrink, i don't want to, i dislike people too much, and now im like REUGH, well after i talked to baldy i went to a mall and in the parking lot i was dancing and singing the shaft song and so then we(my mom and i) took back these shirts i got and went to this place to get these pants, but then the bitches in there were pissing me off, so we left and got some coffee stufff from second cup and it was like MMM MMM but then i didn't feel good, so then we went and picked up my brother and we had to goto the bank, so my brother went into the bank and he was in there for like an hour and a half and my mom and i were in the car and it was like >< (note i haven't eaten all day) then we went to a gas station, that took like 15 minutes and by now i was feeling REALLY gross and then i didn't even want to goto this store that my brother was taking us to, so then when we got there i didn;t go in, but i got a bunch of black shirts (they were 4 bux a peice) and these really great black pants with white sticthing and im like GRUH cuz im hungry now .... oh yeah i woke up last night a 4 am and i havent eaten, and my stomach is like GRHUMing at me and i want a slice of pizza, but i don't want to ask cuz my mom and dad are pissed off, there is like NOTHING to eat here, theres no bread, no milk, no nothing! no cerial no ANYTHING! and im like >< and MY BROTHER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE GOING TO BUY ME A BLACK TRENCH COAT!!!!!!! then i can be like shaft and ill be like SHAAFFFT OOOO SHAAFTT!!!! and so i'll have these people always following me around singing the shaft song, and whne the broads go "OO HE;S SHAFT!" and i'll be like ::strikes the shaft pose:: LOL!! auhg i need food ::toodles off:: 
  i don't know what im going to do, its like im sentanced to death and im making the best of my time (yeah by sitting here listening to everything ends over and over again) 
  im so cold, im freezing, i slept like a man last night, i woke up with my foot in bowl -_-;; guh i don't feel good, im freaking out, my hair is now ATOMIC TURQUOISE and black its like cha-ing... latley have i mentioned i hate hotmail? 
Wednesday, September 05, 2001
  happy happy n_n 
  ::puke:: 
  DAMMUT! I HATE THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO USE NETSCAPE TO CHECK MY FUCKING E-MAIL!!! grr it NEVER loads its so fucking annoying im so fucking pissed off 
  im so depressed, and i have such a headache, i miss my friends, all my life ive had like only 1 or 2 best friends, and then i met lisa and chris and chantal and then i get them yanked away from my grasp, while they advance, and learn to live better, im back at the beginning, alone and suicidal, why does it always end that way for me? everyone else has good luck with things like getting jobs, making friends, being social, me? i hate people, i just hate them, everyone, i hate at least one thing about everyone, im just a hateful person, that brings bad things and depression to all, everyone's just like "Why don't you do something with your friends, that always cheers me up!" and im like "I don't have any friends" "O..." today i found my self saying "s" over and over again, but i dont know why.... i like my room, it's a place where i live, i hate everywhere else... my room knows me, it knows who i am, and how i feel, its like my friend which i see everyday... everyday, im happy that my room knows me, im happy that i don't know you, i avoid people, so i don't have to grow up, cuz i don't want to be old, in 5 years i'll be old, and i don't want to, i just want to lay around and sleep my life away, because then i wouldnt have to put up with things like love and hate it'd just be a giant dream world, where i could be who i am, not some mindless person, i wish i could be me, im not me, im who people want me to be, i dont know what im talking about, but i think it has meaning, but it could just sound like a poor ugly kid trying to sound like she's sad, but i don't know or really care for that matter, people just don't get me, i think that im screwed, cuz look at my life, everyday i wake up and wonder when im going to die, i wonder when the cops are going to take my brother away again, i wonder when im going to realize i've wasted my life, i wonder why people have to be so damned annoying, latley ive had nothing to say to my mom, or dad, i just spew random thoughts or stories that come to my fucked up mind, and they just look at me like im a little kid in a little house made of gingerbread and icing, but im not, im that rasin you left on the floor- the one you let the dog mangle, and i blame it on you, even though it was me who did it, i lose the control of things and i hate that, i hate the fact i have no control, well PISS im a controlling person, i don't mean to be, but that's who i am, i am my own person and i feel like everyone hates me and talks behind my back, even though i know they don't, but i don't know why i think like this, maybe because i hate myself so much, maybe cuz im sick of acting like imhappy when i talk to people, when actually i am breaking inside, i think man why don't i just stop being that way and show people i care, but i don't know how, i just can't figure it out, and that drives me nuts, not knowing things like that make me insane, i know it, but alas i can't stop it there! it comes back to the control, i can't control my mask any more, it just says things and i don't believe in them, it speaks standing alone in a room with me, i don't get it? why wont you help me figure it out? cuz you all hate me, and i know it, deep down inside youre thinking that i should just shuttup, cuz people other then me have problems and i don't care, you know what i mean? i just think if people actually listened to the things i ramble about they'd get the subliminal messages, but no one does, they just read or hear them and they think im just being a jack ass, well im not, im asking for you to help me, im sick of people ignoring me cuz im not like them, i know im not the center of attention, im okay with that, but i just like to be ignolaged... i don't know, i really am rambling about things that don't make anysense, but they might make sence, but you don't listen you don't get the messages why don't you help me? you don't want to be burdened with my problems, i know but i listen to yours, i listen cuz i know what its like to be ignored, im the one that's fading away, i cant listen anymore, when i do i think about how much they don't know, how usless this is, and how stupid they are, its always like this and i can't stop it, but i don't want to stop, but i have to, but im afraid to let anyone in, i dont want them to hurt me, i don't want them to leave, everyone i know leaves me, everyone for everything 
  CUZ DA SPRING ALWEYS POKES DE BALLS!  
  my mom just got out of the hospital and got in an accident with a transport truck! well, my brother was driving, and he smoked the side of the car, so its all mushed, but they are okay, and that's okay and i gay! (im a poet and i damn well know it!) 
  my hair smells like bird feathers 
  IM IN LOVE with this song (everything ends) ::dies cuz she loves it:: i have such a headache, but i don't care, i'll listen to this until my head explodes and my ears bleed blood (or green goo which ever comes firsst) 
  three words : Mr. T  
  i have a stripe down the middle of my big head.....feel thine wrath ::glows:: ....gruhuhg i just watched JUDGE MILLS LANE!! ::starts singing the theme song:: STANDS TALL UP RIGHT! NEVER RUNS FROM A FIGHT! HE'S AMERICA'S JUUDGE KNOWS WHAT'S RIGHT, KNOW'S WHAT'S WRONG, LOVES TO SAY LET'S GET IT ON! "Lets get _it_ on!" HE'S AMERICA'S JUDGE AND WE LOVE JUDGE MILLS LAAANNNEEE!! lol....i THINK that's how it goes... now im off to watch another episode (har har) i don't even like these kind of 'judge' or 'court' tv, in fact they piss me off, but judge mills lane has a theme song, therefore he has my deepest respects 
  dammit! i can't find 'disaster peice' i keep downloading songs that are called that, but they are actually a song called giving in by seeded crown not that that's a bad song, but im not LOOKING FOR IT >< o well, doooooooo im outta water damnation......  
  Listening to : The Shape - Slipknot
Too tragic to stay with you
Too static to try for you
These scars, they swallow hard
The part of the past that's hollow and dark
Too horrid to kill for you
Too sordid to die with you
Unstable as always, come down
Everything else is just dust and sound


SEPARATE (I've lost my only way)
SEPARATE (I've lost my only way)
SEPARATE (I've lost my only way)
SEE THE SHAPE (Broken and thrown away)


I'd give it all away, come take it all away
You can't resent the fear
Somebody tell me how I got here
I'd give it all to you, come take it, it's all for you
The noise is so damn loud, but
Everything else is just dust and sound


I don't wanna do this anymore
Everything's shit - everything's been taken
Forsaken - gotta start it over cuz I'm hearing it
Backwards - DON'T make sense - DON'T feel better
Who's better? It's not that simple
You gotta figure it out before you make things difficult
It's not a word, it's a problem, the problem was easy
Draw your conclusions - solutions?
Anybody else wanna run?
Contorting, distorting - I am undone
One less propaganda nightmare fixture
Are you getting the picture?


damn straight 
  i slept like a bus last night, i fell asleep at like 4 or 5 pm and i woke up at 3:30am and so i stayed up and watched DS9 at four so then when that was over i went back to sleep and woke up about 5 minutes agooooo, but my dream was SO retarded at first me and B were at this place and B lost her money- but her money was made on a green CD and we could only find the purple one, so we used that one and for some reason it had money on it, then we were on this other planet and voyager was crashed landed there and there was like these people who lived on the water, like there houses were built on these little man-made island things, and there was like werewolfs and monsters and stuff... and this guy who looked like tom and me were walking around with this other guy, and then the only way to get to the next island was to fly with these hand glider things, and i didn't have one so i had to swim, and when you swam you had to use this thing that looked like a pillow or you'd get sucked under, but it was hard to use the pillow and it kept suffocating me, and then the tom guy and chakotay were like telling me how to use the thingy and so i finally got to this is-is-island and tom and chakotay and this other guy were there cuz they had to go fight these things and i was like uhm...okay so i stayed there and there was this one girl who had "KoRn" written on her house wall, and i was like "Hey, you like korn? you have korn here?" and she was just like HUH? it was weird then we were talking about my life on earth and i asked her if they had tvs but they were like huh? and then some other shit happened and stuff..... but im lazy and my arm is falling asleep... ....  
Tuesday, September 04, 2001
  yugggggggg.... the debris is still in muh hair.... the stench is BAD.. there was this show on yesterday... it was called like medabots or somethng like that... 0_o;; it was like very scary 
  i have a bag on my head, and a table clothe on my back... why you ask? well becasue my hair is becoming MORE blonde ....-_- my hair is gonna BE COOL WHEN ITS DONE!!  
  whoa i think something exploded in my sister's room 
  (they're tryin' to build a prison) 
  dammut, im such a crappy writer! i can't think of ANYTHING well, anything worthwhile that is all i can think of is RANDOM THINGS RANDOM THING DO NOT MAKE STORIES THAT ARE WORTH MAKING INTO KAMISHIBAIS! (yeah, i hate ANW so i wanna make a final one hit wonder before i give up with anw...... cuz its like SHITTY and it- wait HOW ABOUT THIS! ITS JUST ABOUT MEI MEI! AND HER DAY TO DAY LIFE! YEAH THEN THERE WONT HAVE TO BE A BIG GIANT PLOT!!!! ::explodes in happyness:: 
  ...im listening to purple pills (by choice) 0_o XD XDX DXDOJdshkln;hfsd;kl! i donno, im like BRUHRHUH right now, cuz --- I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK ::falls over and makes the sound a pop would make if you dropped it on the floor then starts to sing really outta tune chunes:: ... man.... ::jigs around:: MY MAGICAL SHIN DIG IN THE SKY!! ... whoa, that's OLD like OLD SCHOOL! wait NO NO NOOOO OLDER THAN OLD SCHOOL.... OLD TIMEY! ITS SOOO OLD TIMEY!! HahahhAHba.....BAAAAHAHHAHhH ::wanders around her room baa-ing like a lamp- er LAMB...:: i sould right some more fanfics, cuz im tired and when im tired i make sunny- er faunny stories 
  PISS! there.... >< i hate the feeling of having to puke, but then you don't so you suffer while being like "GURUUUHHH" and you just want to puke so you'll feel better.. which reminds me, one time i was REALLY sick when i was like in grade 5 or 6 and i slept on the living room floor and on the can room (or the shitter room) floor, and its like BRUHUHR cuz when i was little and lived up north i used to get ill and i'd lay on the floor in the hall way cuz it was a hard wood floor and it was cold and i always remember it making me feel better, i guess that's why i like the floor and its many wonders... its kinda like corn- cuz corn has the unique albillity to seek freedom and THAT IS GOOD! ...or something... my ear hurts (notice how im always complaining about things?) 
  ::whines:: my mommmmyyyyy shes getting a peice of her liver removed tuhday (cuz she has hep. c and they need to do...some...thing with it) and im like 0_0 im gonna finally finsish my hair tuhday..... (no school for d cuz she's special!) man, lately ive been having anxiety attacks by the truck load... the only time i leave my room is to discuss new shows with b, or to get food, other than that im in my room, watching tv, or playing on the computer, or sleeping- er TRYING to sleep, but not being able to.... 
  AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MATLOCK WAS PUTTING A BROOM IN HIS GARBERATOR!!! AHHAHAHHA! 
  ::listening to 'The Shape' by slipknot:: iowa is a good album (well at least in my eyes-er ears it is) n_n 
  mmmryhum, ive gotten another headache >< my brother just downloaded a bundle of songs... some REALLY good trance and shit .... my head is like beating like -bumbombumbombumbom- 
Monday, September 03, 2001
  I WANT IOWA!! dammit! ::goes and finds a list of all the tracks on it and begins downloading:: thank goodness for my CD burner and my cable modem ::hugs her computer:: 
  .... i missed the new episode of dragonballllllzzzzzzzz.. cudos to my sister for taping it! and if your reading this... uhm.... YOU JIGGLED AWAY!! 
  im totally freaking out, i dont know what i am going to do....damn it... and guess what?! tomorrow my mom is going for a liver biopsy(try spelling when your this tired) ...i really like the new new episodes of digimon, they are so cuuuuteee.... dammit... ::continues with her worrying:: damn it, i hate this, i hate this, i DAMN WELL HATE THIS!! im gonna lose it, i cant TAKE this, IM GOING NUTS! i feel like im gonna puke... like im gonna puke right now... im dizzy as hell damnation, times like this i wish i was dead, i wish i was so damned dead......::starts screaming profanities:: ::cry die:: i have to calm down, but i cant I CANT ::twitch:: piss off, and stop bothering me 
  gruh..... i tired, i gotta stay awake, i gotta stay awake, but im sooo tired... i need sleep ::falls asleep on the keyboard'n'drools so she gets dead:: the end 
  AAAAAHHHHHHH ::head explodes:: THE PUPPETS ON TV ARE SINGING AT MEEEE!!  
  help me ::scared of what is on tv:: please... kill me now.. THEY ARE SINGING AT ME !!  

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Location: Orillia, Ontario, Canada

Twenty-six y/o mother of two, trying to attain happiness, balance, and good health.

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